The 5 Stages of Procrastination

By Alexandra Brown on November 11, 2014

Every college student knows the true struggle of trying to study for midterm exams, finals, or any major test. The strategies we work up in our heads don’t always necessarily pan out when we go to execute them in real life.

What’s funny is that although all of our majors might be completely different, we all usually end up procrastinating in the same ways.

Here are the 5 inevitable stages of exam-studying procrastination by college students:

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1. The naively and unrealistically built up confidence/self motivation.

You have about a week before your big test, whether it is a midterm, a final, or some other largely important exam that strongly affects your grade in the class.

You pump yourself up with motivation, telling yourself, “I’m going to get a head start and study all week this time” and “I’ll break the material down by day, that’ll make it easy and my study time will be used more efficiently!”

You’ve found in yourself a sense of inspiration you didn’t even know existed, and studying now even seems like it might be somewhat enjoyable. All of these ideas sound great and uplifting, until it actually comes time to start studying.

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2. Sudden distractions that prevent you from said studying.

It’s day 1, and after repeatedly telling yourself that this time will be different, and that you won’t end up cramming the night before for this exam, certain distractions coincidentally make their way to you right as you’re about to start studying.

You’ve just raided your pantry for study snacks, and are about to leave the kitchen when the thought occurs to you.

“The kitchen really needs to be cleaned. If not now, then when?” you think, as you stand in the doorway, eyeing all the dirty dishes in the sink, the counter that could use a thorough scrubbing, and the garbage that most definitely should’ve been taken out and switched long before this point.

As you’re finishing up in the kitchen, cleaning the floor, you think, “You know, while I’m at it, I should probably vacuum all the carpets in my apartment.”

That makes sense; how could you clean the kitchen floor and then just ignore all the other flooring in the apartment? It just doesn’t seem fair. Logic has prevailed.

Before you know it, cleaning the kitchen has served as somewhat of a gateway drug, as you have now completely cleaned every room/surface/piece of furniture in your apartment.

By the time you’re done, you realize that no studying will be taking place until tomorrow, and you just accept it.

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3. First attempt at getting back on track.

You acknowledge the fact that what went down yesterday was not cool, that you’re better than that, and that you really need to get it together if you want to do well on your exam, pass the class, graduate, and become a productive member of society.

With this new inspired, diligent attitude, you sit down at your study spot, with all of your materials present: your laptop, every possible color of highlighter because that purchase was absolutely necessary, pens, textbooks (most of which you’ve never actually opened), class notes and coffee, your one true love.

Everything seems to be going swimmingly. You haven’t opened Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, or checked Snapchat or Instagram once, and you were beginning to believe you could actually get done what you had planned for the day. Then, something happened.

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4. Mental breakdown.

You thought you had it, but it’s just TOO MUCH. For some reason, studying has now become impossible, and thoughts like “What am I actually doing with my life” and “Why am I a complete failure” are ferociously consuming your mind.

You have no choice but to stop what you’re doing, pack up, go home, binge-watch The Office on Netflix, wallow in self-pity, and hope for a better tomorrow. And that’s exactly what you do.

Besides, you couldn’t have risked everyone witnessing you balling your eyes out in a public place like the library, anyway.

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5. Panic mode/final attempt at getting back on track.

It is a new day, and by now, you’re quite behind in your study “strategy” you thought you had implemented a few days prior.

The real freak out begins. There are only a couple of days left until the big test, there is still a lot of material to cover, and you’re panicking. Sometimes, though, the only way to really start becoming productive is to panic.

The panic attack has led to your final attempt at getting back on track. Since the test is so soon, you realize you have no choice but to get down to business, and so the studying commences.

The exam comes, as it inevitably will, and you pass!

When you do, though, you come to the realization that you will always be one with procrastination, and you’re okay with that. 

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