How to Stay Positive

Throughout our lives and unbeknownst to us most times, we develop coping strategies to deal with our day-to-day hardships as efficiently as possible.  It could be a mantra, breathing techniques or exercising, and different coping strategies may apply to different situations in your life.  For example, if I’m nervous or anxious, I try to control my breathing or distract myself by focusing on something else.  Something that I picked up a few years after I started college is a single line of lyrics: la vida te da sorpresas, sorpresas te da la vida.  These lyrics are part of the chorus to the song “Pedro Navaja,” by famous Panamanian Salsa singer, Ruben Blades.  For some reason, for me, it is not enough to say it; I have to sing it too; otherwise it doesn’t have any effect.

The line roughly translates as “life is full of surprises,” and it doesn’t matter how much we hear it and know it to be true, throughout our lifetime we will continue reminding ourselves of this truth.  How we manage, adapt, and deal with these surprises is key to the amount of grievance we might face.  I’ve learned that flexibility and being willing to compromise is helpful.  Of course, it is easier said than done when the situation holds so much importance to us.

In my time as an undergrad, life has thrown more surprises at me than throughout my whole life. Many people say that High School is the time for self-discoveries, and others say that college is; well I’m here to tell you that yes, you might have had self-discovering moments in high school, but that doesn’t mean you won’t keep having them in college –or the rest of your life for that matter, but high school and college are probably the peak.  Before I started college, I thought I had a pretty good idea of who I wanted to be and what I wanted to study.  People who weren’t sure of their goals astounded me, and people who started college without any clue as to what they would major in perplexed me.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I had my future mapped out –far from it– but I had goals.  I didn’t know how I would accomplish them, just that I would.  In fact at the beginning, registering at FSU had been something completely circumstantial, and I’m incredibly glad to be here now.

You may not know so, but the education system in the U.S is quite beneficial to all of us going through self-discoveries.  In Latin America, when you apply for the university, you are also applying for your major.  From the beginning, the students are immersed into the studies of their career, with some electives here and there.  If in the second or third year of university the student discovers that they no longer want to follow that career path, he or she must start on a new major as a freshman and with the previous years wasted. In the U.S there are liberal studies, electives, credits for courses that you may use for another major, minors, among others. The opportunities are there to change your mind and to find things you never knew you liked.  I have changed my major three times –something that if it can be avoided then do so because it can be a hassle– and almost all the credits have been put to good use.

It is easy to feel discouraged or insecure when you see everyone around you so “with it” and you feel like the only one with an uncertain future.  However, let me tell you not to fret, you are far from alone and it is completely normal.  Life almost never goes as we planned or how we imagined, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.  Like I said before, flexibility and compromise are important to cope with the changes.  It might be hard, your family, society, and peers may pressure you, but in the end remember that if you make a hasty decision and it is the wrong one, the person regretting it the most will be you.

So take the time to explore, be open to new possibilities and changes, don’t drown on the changes that might deviate you, tackle everything with optimism, take the blows life throws at you in strides, and if you have slackened then seek new strength.  Again, it is not easy nor will it be painless, but the longer you fight a reality and stay stubborn, the more you will suffer.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t fight for your dreams and goals if they become difficult, though. It means that if one path to your goal is blocked, it is not the only road you can take.  Some may take longer and others may guide you to something completely different, but it doesn’t mean that it won’t be just as wonderful or that you might not enjoy it.

Life is full of surprises, and it is up to how we handle them that make the difference on what we experience.  Lastly, let me leave you with an analogy, next time something doesn’t go as planned and you are being stubborn that it must be a certain way, it is the equivalence of a person trying to go get to a room through a wall by banging themselves against it.  Depending on the material of the wall, the person may accomplish it, but it will be after several bruises, bangs, and aches, and it would probably take longer than if they went around to find an entrance.

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